Earnest fans of Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde rejoice, for he has joined the Novel-T league.

The youthful catcher seems almost never to age, although there have been reports that his image on his baseball cards have become mysteriously altered over the years...

From: 'The Importance of Being Shortstop'

Catcher.You really love me, Gwendolen?

Gwendolen.Passionately!

Catcher.Darling! You dont know how happy youve made me.

Gwendolen.My own shortstop!

Catcher.But you dont really mean to say that you couldnt love me I didn't play shortstop?

Gwendolen.But you do play shortstop.

Catcher.Yes, I know I do. But supposing I played something else? Do you mean to say you couldnt love me then?

Gwendolen.[Glibly.] Ah! that is clearly a metaphysical speculation, and like most metaphysical speculations has very little reference at all to the actual facts of real life, as we know them.

Catcher.Personally, darling, to speak quite candidly, I dont much care about playing shortstop . . . I dont think the position suits me at all.

Gwendolen.It suits you perfectly. It is a divine position. It has a style of its own. It produces so many outs.

Catcher.Well, really, Gwendolen, I must say that I think there are lots of other much nicer positions. I think catcher, for instance, a charming position.

Gwendolen.Catcher? . . . No, there is very little style in playing catcher, if any at all, indeed. It does not thrill. It produces absolutely no outs . . . I have known several catchers, and they all, without exception, were more than usually plain. Besides, catchers have notoriously bad knees! And I pity any woman who is married to a man with bad knees. She would probably never be allowed to know the entrancing pleasure of a single moments solitude. The only really position is shortstop.

Catcher.Gwendolen, I must get a new mitt at onceI mean we must get married at once. There is no time to be lost.

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